The Cottage Preseason Opener

The Cottage Preseason Opener

We purchased an A-frame cottage on Lake Winnipeg to get closer to nature. Nature deficit disorder appears to be a real thing and spending time at the cottage provides a great fix.  The nicely forested property provides a tremendous view of the lake, which with the waves can look more like the ocean. The two story cottage and the open design allows everyone in the family their own personal space. The metal roof and cedar siding keeps out the elements, but not the rodents, which need their own personal space.  

Opening the cottage after a long winter has become a joyous occasion for the family. The main reason for this joy includes my travelling to the cottage by myself beforehand and conducting a cottage preseason opener. Like baseball spring training, I do some preliminary things to work out the bugs. And of course by bugs, I do mean insects and other things that would drive away family members till the incident was forgotten.

In the first year the flat roof over the sunroom leaked. The good news was that the vapor barrier captured all the water. The bad news is that these bags of tarry water hanging from the ceiling pushed out the ceiling tiles and made the room reminiscent of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.  Making an incision in the hanging cocoon and draining was the only remedy.

The second year involved cleaning out the shed and the empty garbage cans which always collects bits of debris. Leaving the shed door open, I left and returned only to find a bear in the shed. A two year old, not knowing any better. Rest assured, bears do poop in the woods, unless they have a better alternative, which a shed apparently provides. I have learned how to tell various scat signs from various animals. The discussion of this expertise never seems to come up at social occasions, so I find that I have to bring it up every time. Useful note, for bears, you can always tell when it has been a productive berry season.

We just recently installed a small outdoor hot tub that we can plug in for the summer. When lifting the lid for the first time of the season, I ask please don’t let me find a dead small mammal inside. This is only exceeded by the triple please of don’t let me find a terrified, alive and wanting to escape small mammal inside. So far, we have been good.

When cleaning outside, I use the gas powered leaf blower to man-dust the decks. I do walk through the cottage, engine off, to clean the upper deck. Only a few times has it passed my mind to quickly man-dust the interior. Who would really know? But there are the gas fumes. So next year I am so going electric leaf blower. The gas blower works very well in the garage, especially if no one is watching.

Inside the cottage, checking all of the furniture, particular the beds, for mouse droppings, is the next issue. We keep the cottage warm during the winter, so finding a soft fluffy mouse nest is not beyond consideration. A mouse nest would require a cathartic cleansing of the linens. And by cleansing, I mean burning.

Cleaning inside is a bit less stressful. The freezer has to be cleaned out to make room for the coming summer. Sometimes this means tossing everything. Sometimes this means not letting things go to waste. This spring I had to dispose of a half container of crystalized ice cream, and by dispose I mean eat. It tasted liked solidified sugar. And shame.

The main event is crawling beneath the cottage. We have this area closed in, insulated and covered in plastic. Dark, dusty, bit mildewy, no one could hear you scream, if you even had the chance.

One late fall some mid-sized mammals had moved in underneath the cottage. The tunnel they dug underneath the wall enclosing the bottom of the cottage allowed the cold winter air to directly hit the pipe coming up out of the ground from the well pump. This resulted in no well water for the rest of the winter and no working toilets. So during the summer, I closed off their hole and installed more furnace venting to direct heat towards the corner to prevent the pipes from freezing. The following winter, the hole was redug, and the venting was ripped apart. Apparently they didn’t like the air flow. They continued to show their displeasure by scat throughout the level beneath the cottage. Mid-size mammal droppings are a general sign to be careful, but I would swear that the droppings were arranged into an actual sign that said ‘stay away’. It may have been the darkness.

At some point, the sun brings out the flowers and butterflies. When the family comes to the cottage, the BBQ comes out, along with the home made beer, bicycles and kayaks. This sooths the nature deficit disorder somewhat, and we continue to get inoculated as often as possible. There remains a difference between watching nature, and nature watching you. Nature normally comes at night, with many pairs of eyes, that appear to glow in the dark. But, we are intervening into nature’s arena and we should be respectful. And watchful. Always watchful.