The Cottage Preseason Opener
The Cottage Preseason Opener
We purchased an A-frame cottage on Lake
Winnipeg to get closer to nature. Nature deficit disorder appears to be a real
thing and spending time at the cottage provides a great fix. The nicely forested property provides a tremendous
view of the lake, which with the waves can look more like the ocean. The two
story cottage and the open design allows everyone in the family their own
personal space. The metal roof and cedar siding keeps out the elements, but not
the rodents, which need their own personal space.
Opening the cottage after a long winter has
become a joyous occasion for the family. The main reason for this joy includes
my travelling to the cottage by myself beforehand and conducting a cottage preseason
opener. Like baseball spring training, I do some preliminary things to work out
the bugs. And of course by bugs, I do mean insects and other things that would
drive away family members till the incident was forgotten.
In the first year the flat roof over the
sunroom leaked. The good news was that the vapor barrier captured all the
water. The bad news is that these bags of tarry water hanging from the ceiling pushed
out the ceiling tiles and made the room reminiscent of Invasion of the Body
Snatchers. Making an incision in the
hanging cocoon and draining was the only remedy.
The second year involved cleaning out the shed and
the empty garbage cans which always collects bits of debris. Leaving the shed door
open, I left and returned only to find a bear in the shed. A two year old, not
knowing any better. Rest assured, bears do poop in the woods, unless they have
a better alternative, which a shed apparently provides. I have learned how to
tell various scat signs from various animals. The discussion of this expertise
never seems to come up at social occasions, so I find that I have to bring it
up every time. Useful note, for bears, you can always tell when it has been a
productive berry season.
We just recently installed a small outdoor hot
tub that we can plug in for the summer. When lifting the lid for the first time
of the season, I ask please don’t let me find a dead small mammal inside. This
is only exceeded by the triple please of don’t let me find a terrified, alive and
wanting to escape small mammal inside. So far, we have been good.
When cleaning outside, I use the gas powered
leaf blower to man-dust the decks. I do walk through the cottage, engine off,
to clean the upper deck. Only a few times has it passed my mind to quickly
man-dust the interior. Who would really know? But there are the gas fumes. So next
year I am so going electric leaf blower. The gas blower works very well in the
garage, especially if no one is watching.
Inside the cottage, checking all of the
furniture, particular the beds, for mouse droppings, is the next issue. We keep
the cottage warm during the winter, so finding a soft fluffy mouse nest is not
beyond consideration. A mouse nest would require a cathartic cleansing of the
linens. And by cleansing, I mean burning.
Cleaning inside is a bit less stressful. The
freezer has to be cleaned out to make room for the coming summer. Sometimes
this means tossing everything. Sometimes this means not letting things go to
waste. This spring I had to dispose of a half container of crystalized ice
cream, and by dispose I mean eat. It tasted liked solidified sugar. And shame.
The main event is crawling beneath the cottage.
We have this area closed in, insulated and covered in plastic. Dark, dusty, bit
mildewy, no one could hear you scream, if you even had the chance.
One late fall some mid-sized mammals had moved
in underneath the cottage. The tunnel they dug underneath the wall enclosing
the bottom of the cottage allowed the cold winter air to directly hit the pipe coming
up out of the ground from the well pump. This resulted in no well water for the
rest of the winter and no working toilets. So during the summer, I closed off
their hole and installed more furnace venting to direct heat towards the corner
to prevent the pipes from freezing. The following winter, the hole was redug,
and the venting was ripped apart. Apparently they didn’t like the air flow. They
continued to show their displeasure by scat throughout the level beneath the
cottage. Mid-size mammal droppings are a general sign to be careful, but I
would swear that the droppings were arranged into an actual sign that said
‘stay away’. It may have been the darkness.
At some point, the sun brings out the flowers
and butterflies. When the family comes to the cottage, the BBQ comes out, along
with the home made beer, bicycles and kayaks. This sooths the nature deficit
disorder somewhat, and we continue to get inoculated as often as possible. There
remains a difference between watching nature, and nature watching you. Nature
normally comes at night, with many pairs of eyes, that appear to glow in the
dark. But, we are intervening into nature’s arena and we should be respectful.
And watchful. Always watchful.
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